James O’Keefe Knows Who Runs The Media

Ok, I can imagine what you’re thinking.  This is some setup to further pile on Rick Sanchez.  C’mon now, look at the dude, does the guy really need that?

It hurts. It's painful. But no one's dead

No need to decrypt anything from his firing.  He called down the thunder.  He got it alright.  But you like that, right?  Thunder imagery after a shot where this poor schmuck gets hit with a taser.  That’s two college degrees at work.  All I wonder is, what to do with Rick’s poor, maligned Twitter account?  It has CNN in the name, he’s totally boned.  Where will his dozens of fans and partisans gather around?  9 meters in English is?  Dark times, indeed.

That’s not the fact of the matter.  If you haven’t had the good fortune of hearing about this doozy, you’re in for a treat.  Remember when those ‘young conservative activists’ from Project Veritas went to ACORN offices around the country posed as pimps and ho’s?  Well they’re back, and this week, they provide a great study of cryptojournalism.  Seems they’ve attempted to prank a CNN reporter.

Concerning journalism, there might be a story.  If there is, CNN should not be reporting on it.  Objectivity, right?  They should have tossed this whole mess off to a newspaper or a foreign news outlet such as Reuters.  It’s only really a story thanks to the use of dildos and the undercutting of the ACORN story (how in the world can these people be believed?), because nothing really happened.  This little smear campaign never took off.  Rather, the whole story makes the Atlanta organization look completely moronic.  They clearly would have fallen to this ploy were it not for Izzy Santa, an executive director from Project Veritas.  Ms. Santa intercepted Abbie Boudreau literally walking into this escapade.  The headline should read, “CNN dumb enough to send reporters anywhere,” instead of “Fake pimp from ACORN videos tries to ‘punk’ CNN correspondent.”

How are things actually devolving to these kind of antics?  The function of the news has veered so far off course, rather than gathering information, checking facts and reporting, we’re subjected to Cape Fear with vibrators?  So is there an answer to how and why things are just so damn zany?  Of course there is.  Wouldn’t be an article if there weren’t.

The plan appears to have been a biting satire on the issue of, wow, um, that’s tricky.  See, he frames things within the context of ‘big lies’ and is the type to conduct operations, to use conspiracy lingo.  The Devil is always in the details, so let’s begin sifting through some of the tastier tidbits of cryptojournalism, or as the layman call them, clues.  Here’s the link to CNN’s partial release of the document.  Great reading, but avoid consumption if you’re on any sort of research chemicals.  Not surprisingly, we actually find a couple of clues in this weird, borderline insane ‘operation.’  Always be wary whenever an operation is outside hospital walls.  Sure fire recipe for disaster.

Delving into the planning document from O’Keefe and his cocktail weenie compadres, let’s jump in head first.  Please keep in mind I am not taking these pieces in chronological order.

The joke is that the tables have turned on CNN.  Using hot blondes to seduce inverviewees to get screwed on television, you are faux seducing her in order to screw her on television.

Wow.  Instead, Project Veritas is getting fucked on the internet for free.  Welcome to porn valley, boys.  I guess the author, Ben Wetmore, takes umbrage with cable news choosing to employ pretty women.  I wholeheartedly disagree.  Yes, I know how bigoted and sexist this is, but I’m only going to watch CBS2 News if Kristine Johnson is on air, at the 5 p.m. hour.


Ms. Boudreau is not this breed of talking head.  Johnson, Julie Banderas, Norah O’Donnell, they’re attractive women.  They repeat what’s given them to read.  Hence, they’re repeaters.  Not reporters, repeaters.  News reader is a less inflammatory term.

Contrary to what Wetmore and O’Keefe think, Boudreau has actually put in work (strictly in the rap sense).  She even won a Livingston Award (whatever that means) for international reporting.  I would say that beats my “Mr. Congeniality” award at the Greek Games Mixer ’01.  It actually means more than the 250k video hits on YouTube from an ACORN videos.

Little known fact that’s been lost on 21st Century reporters.  How many ‘Likes’ your story gets or how many hits is not the end all of reporting.  Quality information is lost at the expense of this cheap path to the green room.  Not even D-List.  So it goes.  Maybe that’s the first lesson gleaned from the tale of these stupid little men: seeking fame through journalism is a dicey gambit.  And at the best, you’re lucky to get in the green room.  Do most people know Matt Taibbi and Glenn Greenwald, at the top of a dwindling list of quality content writers?  They should, but I cannot say.  O’Keefe went looking for a measure of fame from being a journalist.  Bad move, guy.

Although I understand that.  There is a starfucker strain of thinking within journalism.  But that’s not the crux of this matter, only one facet.  Project Veritas gamed themselves by trying to trap a reporter in some Arkham Asylum newsroom.  Which still doesn’t make a lick of sense.  Put on your snorkels, cause we’re going to have to swim into some deep bullshit to come out the other side.

Project Veritas has been operating under the belief that CNN is working over the American public with some core ‘big lies,” which go as follows:

  1. Their general bias against conservatives
  2. Their own internal racism against whites
  3. Their potential internal racism against minorities
  4. Shoddy journalism, and low journalistic standards

Rife with contradiction and some severe paranoia.  And people on the fringe right wonder why sensible Americans think the Far Right is knee deep in crazy.  But no, I’m not even here to pitch that very easily articulated argument.  The real guts of everything you’ve ever needed to know about  Planet Earth is hidden in plain sight, right here.  Take these claims at face value.  CNN is internally racist against whites and minorities.  What does that leave?  Crab people?

Taste like crab, talk like people

Worse.  Worse than crab people?  Whatever could be worse??!!?  Zionists?  Too easy.  And come on, Rick Sanchez just got in trouble going down that road.  Plus, Zionists are a minority (they are not Jews, more a clique unto themselves), making CNN biased against them.  Unfortunately, CNN is actually run by Earth’s most insidious enemy.  Reptoids.

Did you see that?  That subtle trick, right there?  Making a wild, tangential leap from the reasoning behind the Palace of Pleasure to reptoids?  Inferring a link between these two crazy things?  Can’t take it back now, so we may as well explain this farce.  Like most reading linked from Rhyme and Reasonable, reptoids is far down the path of complete and utter lunacy.  Reminds me of  “They Live.”

If an news bureau is racists against everyone, they’ve got to be inhuman.  Reptoids, short for reptilian humanoids, are one of the more fragrant pieces of trash online.  Ties in so well with this story, doesn’t it?  A claim like this is clearly facetious, but an easy connotation is made: if you really think CNN is openly conspiring against you, you’re probably crazy.  Honestly, that leap from ‘right wing gripe’ to ‘lizard people among us’ was not too difficult.

And this doesn’t even take into any cryptojournalistic consideration point 4, noting CNN’s low journalistic standards.  Guys, they already fired Rick Sanchez.  Oh, you mean in general.

CNN is first generation corporate news.  Something people do not tend to realize or care to notice about corporate products in general: corporations strive towards the worst of the best.  They want to make a good product.  But they’ve got price considerations.  Bottom line is always more important, which Project Veritas clearly shows.  This silly seduction tactic is a lowest common denominator grab.  Lowest common denominator the corporate mantra.  O’Keefe and company are actually pandering below the low journalistic standards to which CNN supposedly adheres.  Christ, am I actually defending CNN in this instance?

Yes, yes I am.  This caper derails because of two things: a) it’s extremely stupid and juvenile.  And b) EVEN IF this had been successful, would anyone get the oblique points these chuckleheads wanted to make?  People might think of Abbie Boudreau as the Dildo Chick (hell, they may out of all this anyway), but in theory this whole escapade does nothing to forward the conservative movement.

That was the point, right?

The media has been in a frenzy for the past few years on a relatively small number of topics and subjects.

  1. Tea party racism
  2. Arizona racism
  3. Sarah Palin
  4. GOP leadership scandals

Ok.  GOP leadership scandals?  John Boehner is on the tip of America’s tongue?  It’s just silly.  Except for the fact they’ve hit the nail on the head about CNN’s reptoid overlords.  This was not supposed to turn into using this crazy operation as a punching bag, but it’s really just that.  How do you take conservative activists seriously when this list of media talking points is deaf tobank bailouts or health care in the news echo chamber?  Easy cryptojournalist prescription is this one outlet beats off to Sarah Palin’s Twitter page, fretting over the culling of the vast white herds.  We’re not here for easy.

This is actually a short list of republican weak points for the upcoming mid-term elections.  Michael Steele is a leadership scandal all to himself.  The claims are not fresh.  Over the last year, there have been a couple of loud cries for his resignation.  While going to bondage-themed nightclubs on the party’s dime might win brownie points with blue dog democrats, das est strictly verboten on the right.  Being a traitor to the conservative stance also hurts the posture of the RNC chair.  Not headline news in the news cycle.  Great example of the rhetorical gymnastics which makes politicians so reviled.  His claim on Afghanistan, “this was a war of Obama’s choosing,” continuing on by saying, “This is not something the United States had actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in.”

Amazing.  Somewhere in time, Obama hit the reset button on the Playstation3 with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.  Bequeathing credit for the war to the Dems is actually worse than posturing he somehow does not want to engage in a lucrative theater of war.  But I must repeat, this IS NOT MAJOR NEWS.  Rod Blagojevich has been a juicier talking point.

Arizona racism?  Have you seen “Machete”?  Awesome flick.

One of many reasons to see Machete

Were these jokers smart, or journalists, instead of a PG-13 cable cut of “Revenge of the Nerds”, they would have done something smart.  Reach out to Lou Dobbs if you want to make a case CNN has some bias about border coverage.  Unless.  Now hold on a minute.  Do you think they’re covering up……about the Amero?  If CNN is really talking about what’s going on across the boarder, common sense dictates they should be vigorously covering the Amero.  Cause there is so much coverage now.  So O’Keefe and his vibrator equipped buddies must want to suppress this fake news.

North America’s version of the Euro, it is destined to be the unified currency of a North America Union.  Although if we’re heading towards a thumb/retina scan biometric cashless society, wouldn’t the Amero be useless?  Never think too hard on anything conspiracy theorists have to say.  Most don’t even know it, but they unwittingly practice cryptojournalism.

Coming to a bank near you

Back to this half baked episode of “Cheez’d” (the CSPAN4 version of Punk’d), gotta touch on Sarah Palin real quick.  [Pause for timing]  Yeah, I wish.  The point that she’s a talking point for the 24-news cycle has got to be at least medium order sarcasm.  She works for Fox News!  As this sad tale clearly presents, people within news organizations are more and more becoming fodder for the cycle.  But to be vexed that someone who works the media circuit gets media coverage?

As for Tea Party racism, racism is always a straw man.  These fearless activists are not afraid to exploit the obvious.  The Tea Party is as racist as any large group.  Meaning, there are probably some racists.  I grew up on Long Island, so I’ve got a pretty clear viewpoint on racism.  This is an area where the idea of radically segregated villages and towns holds true even today, which was subsequently exported to the rest of the United States as suburbanization.

For the uninitiated, Long Island, strictly speaking of Nassau and Suffolk counties (sorry Peconic, you don’t exist yet), the place is really fucking racist.  When I ask a local, “Tell me the dark towns,” I already know the list.

Freeport, Hempstead, Roosevelt, Uniondale, Amityville, Wyandanch, Brentwood, Central Islip and Riverhead.  Sorry for sounding coarse, but those are the places where black people are welcomed to live.  I grew up next to West Islip, often dubbed ‘White Islip’ for its total lack of color.  Long Island Index interactive maps is a great resource for this case.  It also provides us with this pearl:

West Islip is 5.9% non-white (Black, Hispanic, Asian, or multiple races) (increased 66.4% since 1990).  That’s one hell of an increase!  James Hetfield said it best in his deep baritone, “Sad but true!”

This was the system exported for general housing consumption?  OF COURSE America is a supremely racist place!  But tea party racism as a hot news topic?  It points to some sort of deluded worldview.  Young conservatives are the Rubik’s Cube of the political punditry….so tough to figure out sometimes.

Things we could use to entice them:

  1. False video evidence
  2. False textual evidence and documents
  3. False interviews

Oh, there it is.  NOW it’s all clear.  Making up fiction and presenting it in a newsly forum?  Yup, newsly is a word now too.  Sometimes you’ve gotta love the debasing theme of the times.  These guys are cryptojournalists.  Making shit up to try and prove some elusive, obscure point.  Well played, boys.  The only question left, are they trying to expose the reptoid overlords at CNN (follow the link, it’s actually very funny), or are they merely bag men for the reptoids themselves?

After Campbell Brown and now Rick Sanchez, who will the repotids devour?

My wager?  This whole story falls off the radar quick (it should).  The reptoids continue the business of news reporting, vexing the minds of America’s far-right wing.  But at all costs, avoid hair-brained schemes.  Everything has lessons to learn.  In this case, sometimes journalism is even stupider than imagined.  “I almost fell into a trap, film at 11.”


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