Count Your Stars If You Live North Of Port Gibson

Stop me if you’ve heard this one….Godzilla walks into a bar in Fukushima.  He asks the bartender, “Did I miss the party?”  To which, the bartender replies, “Godzirra!” and runs off.

Trust me, the joke’s much better told in person.  Comic timing and all.  We’re a couple of months out from the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant accident, and I’ll be honest, I’m not impressed by the lack of Godzilla jokes I’ve heard.  Namely, I’ve heard none.  But some intrepid douche bag did make this video, so kudos to him.

Like everything in the realm of cryptojournalism, that’s not really what this is about.  BUT (and that’s a big but), it does not mean a nuclear fallout joke is inappropriate.  If you live south of Port Gibson, Mississippi, though, that joke may be in poor form.  Chalk this one under “totally missed by the 24-hour news cycle”.  Since you haven’ heard, let me fill you in on the dumping of radioactive water with unknown levels of tritium into the Mississippi River.

That’s right.  Let me repeat that.  Radioactive material was accidentally dumped from the Grand Gulf Nuclear Station into the Mississippi River.  This happened in late April, but it might as well have happened in Ecuador in the year 2019.  Guess what?  We’re essentially in the dark to what effect this will have on the region.

From the McClatchy article (emphasis added):

A spokeswoman for the plant, Suzanne Anderson, said they reported the release to the state Health Department and the Nuclear Regulatory Commission on April 29.  But they do not know how much radioactive water was pumped from the plant or the amount that was in the water. She also said they are still trying to determine the source of the tritium

Spec-fucking-tacular.  One would imagine radioactive water being added to the largest river in North America would be a problem.  Instead, we get a cache of porn Osama Bin Laden liked.  Kidding.  Might as well , because this whole thing is a joke.  The question remains: is tritium dangerous?

Seems to be less lethal than a game of Russian Roulette with this gun, but that’s not saying much.

Damned if you do, damned if you do

I speak in mild hyperbole.  Tritium is dangerous, just not as dangerous as, say, toothpaste on a domestic flight.  From the EPA’s very own website (emphasis added again):

As with all ionizing radiation, exposure to tritium increases the risk of developing cancer. However, because it emits very low energy radiation and leaves the body relatively quickly, for a given amount of activity ingested, tritium is one of the least dangerous radionuclides. Since tritium is almost always found as water, it goes directly into soft tissues and organs. The associated dose to these tissues are generally uniform and dependent on the tissues’ water content.

Fan-fucking-tastic.  Remember, there’s no solid number on how much tritium was dumped into the Mississippi.  But my cryptojournalist instinct (aka being a cynic) leads me to believe it’s not going to be good news when this tidbit is released to the general public.  Just my guess.  But an unknown amount of a cancer causing agent, gee, flowing into the Gulf of Mexico, well that must be part of the plan.

If the plan is to compete with Japan’s Godzilla with our very own American made Mothra, King Ghidorah, or Gabarah as a way to reinvent sports entertainment, the shroud of total ignorance to the Port Gibson incident may be a cover to keep our new beast under wraps.  Imagine the Pay-Per-View numbers for “Dream MMA Presents: Godzilla Versus Gabarah: East Meets West, Live from the Tokyo Dome.”  Wishful thinking.

And in this corner, fighting out of the Crescent City.....Gabarah!

Is there anything you can do?  Guess being aware of the Port Gibson incident is a good start.  Not eating any fish or crustaceans from the Mississippi south into the Gulf would also be advisable.  It would be tragic if a scrimper from Louisiana caught Baby Gabarah, snuffing out the Battle of the Ages before it even began.  Me, personally, I like my food free from tritium and corxit whenever possible.


One Response to “Count Your Stars If You Live North Of Port Gibson”

  1. Flo Biedermann Says:

    Very thought provoking. I thought the story line tied everyhthing all together. I knew nothing about Port Gibson. Now I do…

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