Table Scraps AKA Crumb Snatching
Couple things I’d like to hit on. Be warned, this will probably veer into comedic blue territory.
A commenter for The Long Islanders as well as my buddy Johnny P. from Paintball Arena on Long Island (here’s the Facebook page) pointed out the upcoming bond issue in Nassau County concerning the Islanders. In case you’re clueless (as was I), there is an August 1st vote on a bond issue, the Islanders seeking $400 million for a proposed
value injection arena for Team Downstate (or is that $500 million?). I speak in only slight hyperbole. $350 million goes to the arena. The other $50 mil (also called a Wall Street Snack in the biz) goes towards a proposed minor league baseball team.
I need to share a quick personal anecdote before we get to more important (ha!) matters. While the affectionately dubbed “Crazy Carl” played for the Ducks, I yelled, “I remember when you broke up Mike Mussina’s perfect game.” The man had to cover his face as he manned the outfield, afraid to bust into a shit eating grin. Good times.
Better a funny moment with Carl Everett than Jose Offerman, right?
A third minor league baseball team in Downstate New York? Is this a ploy? I’m not saying the Nassau Commuters won’t thrive. Maybe they will. It’s a smoke screen. Charles Wang is trying to play a game of parlay. With a value barely sniffing $150 million and the worst draw in the 4th major American sport, Wang is trying to get the residents of Nassau County to foot the bill in the hopes it increases his team’s value.
Putting the Islanders in a $350-450 million arena is akin to building a six car garage for your 1987 Nissan. The arena would be more than twice as valuable as the franchise. Does that make any sense?
Crumb snatching is the wrong word. A public bond to house a 1987 jalopy? That’s pilfering, friends.
Onto lighter fodder. I’m going to admit something here which will strike at the heart of cryptojournalism as a discipline and at my credibility as a person. Mob Wives on VH1? Yeah, that’s my shit right there. It’s breathtaking. Like watching a young Bob Ross on the canvas. If he were painting a car crash in slow motion.
Can’t stop watching though. I would suggest anyone who hasn’t seen it, watch an episode or 5. Fists flying, f-bombs raining from the heavens, and a couple of the ladies are pretty hot. This is where the kiddies and those squeamish readers should just leave. We’re going to delve into the cesspool of VH1’s inexplicable porn ties.
Thankfully I didn’t have to do all the legwork. Because apparently, dozens of people employed by VH1 for their programming have been in or went on to do porn. Yikes. What does this have to do with Mob Wives? It was a bump the producers must have used half a dozen times between teasers for next week’s episode and coming up later….on Mob Wives.
Extremely conspicuous. Drita D’Avanzo gets blackout drunk and this is what VH1 highlights. Which makes me wonder if VH1 is a feeder system into the biz or out? And by into the biz, well, it’s the one which resides between teenagers and senior citizens.
That would be the adult business.
So you know, Drita is definitely the best character on the show. Interesting to see how VH1 likes to use the talent. And before you consider this a misogynist rant or sexist, well, it is. It can even be called exploitation. I can only wonder aloud if this sort of editing chicanery is the means by which reality talent morphs into porn talent. Doubt it, but considering the network’s record, who knows.
If you consider that a little blue, just leave now. Make my words, you won’t like what comes next.
Rickyisms. Best nearlyisms you’ll find on YouTube.
I’m putting this out there, so when it happens in the future I can have a hearty laugh.
The way the Republican primary race is shaping up, being the popular culture connoisseur I am, before Christmas I’ll wager there’s a Sarah Palin/Michele Bachmann inspired porno. A sequel to the first Who’s Nailin Paylin is already in the books. Don’t worry, no links or unseemly milfy pictures or anything. Just my women’s intuition that some slimy company makes Sara Nailin vs. Michelle Cockmann: The Capital Hill Gangbang (insert current Anthony Weiner joke).
See? Told you that you should’ve stopped reading.