Archive for the conspiracy theory Category

When All The World Is A Stage

Posted in conspiracy theory, Cryptojournalism with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 25, 2013 by The Cryptojournalist

It’s been a while, so let’s jump right into something that’s been stuck in my craw.  2012 appears to have been the year of orchestrated news.  No, I’m not talking about Manti Te’o.

Not what I mean

Not what I mean

Consider many of the so-called ‘breaking’ news stories of 2012.  This discounts anything related to the 2012 Presidential election, which is purely manufactured news.  I’m referring to five stories in particular: The Dark Knight Aurora Massacre, Terrorcane Sandy, the death of Whitney Houston, the Sandy Hook tragedy and the September 11 attack in Benghazi.  What do all these breaking news stories have in common?

People have questions regarding the official story of each of these events.  Which is problematic, but not for the reason you’re probably thinking.

Take Superstorm Sandy.  A hurricane struck the Eastern Seaboard.  Seems cut and dry, right?  Well, not for the folks that believe it was a HAARP influenced frankenstorm.  The video below gives a taste of what I mean.

I’m not endorsing this viewpoint, nor do I believe the storm was manufactured.  Just stick with me here for a minute.

Let’s jump to Whitney Houston’s untimely demise.  A drug addict overdosed, no big deal, right?  Hmmmm, that is, unless you’re of the mindset that it was a giant occult ritual sacrifice.  You know, because some people believe that to be the case.  Vigilant Citizen has a unique perspective on matters of popular culture, and a lot of people buy into this belief.

As for the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, another matter of fact news story, right?  Depends.  If you reckon the Central Intelligence Agency is running al Qaeda (Webster Tarpley has passionately and aggressively made this point since the attack), the comments from ex-CIA chief David Petraeus after this fiasco don’t jive.

If al Qaeda was responsible for the attack, but the CIA runs the terror network, who’s actually culpable?

SIDE BAR – This is PURE SPECULATION, but isn’t banging a MILF more palatable to the American public than possibly overseeing the murder of an American ambassador?

So is the title 'All In' irony or foreshadowing?

So is the title ‘All In’ irony or foreshadowing?

Let’s be honest here.  People are much more likely to forgive a man for adultery than perhaps overseeing an attack on American personnel.  Especially when the woman is pretty (we do live in a country with a major ‘looks’ bias).

The face of 10,00 Conservative wet dreams

The face of 10,000 Conservative wet dreams

Whether Petraeus fell on his own sword to get out of a sticky situation (HA!) or not only adds to the specter of orchestrated news.  Back to the topic of discussion, and onto the next example.  Brace yourself.

Aurora, Colorado.  James Holmes.  The Dark Knight Massacre.  MKULTRA patsy?  Multiple shooters?  Crisis actors for an event that never took place?  You can find just about any conspiracy theory to explain what may have taken place in that movie theater.  Take a minute and check it out for yourself, but be prepared with a life rope…you’re apt to fall so far down the rabbit hole, you’ll never return to reality.

Finally we come to the Newtown, Connecticut school shooting, dubbed the Sandy Hook Massacre.  Considering this video has over 11,000,000 views at the time of this writing, it’s clear many people question the veracity of the narrative given by the news media.

Now I’m not here to speculate on the validity (or lack of) to any of these theories.  What I would like you to consider is this: IF these stories are all orchestrated by external, shadowy forces, what in the sam hell is really going on in the world?

Say these stories are all concocted for ulterior motives (a major stretch).  Wouldn’t there still be newsworthy events taking place that just aren’t being reported?  I can’t make heads or tails of it, but what if all the world’s a stage, with crisis actors streaming across your television screen?

That’s the most unsettling aspect of the lingering questions behind all the conspiratorial angles.  If everything is staged, what’s really happening on Planet Earth?  Food for thought.

“This Woman Is Dead Inside” – An American Gumbo

Posted in conspiracy theory, Media Farce, popular culture with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2011 by The Cryptojournalist

[Spoiler alert]

I’m going to be darting all over the place today.  If you’re prone to vertigo, take a pill now.

Everything sort of revolves around the premise of blind devotion, some of the many horse blinders you’re likely to see if you look hard enough.  There’s a catch to mental blinders.  Sometimes you look ridiculous and simply become a cold spot on the grid.

Huh?  Cold spot on the grid?

It’s a general way I use to view the world.  Energy being finite, there are hot and cold spots on the grid.  The grid being a cheap metaphor for people.  If overall karma is neutral, some people will be at the far reaches.  So I sort of adapted that as a way to look at people.  Someone that’s always complaining about their problems and the unfairness of the world, forcing other people to expend mental energy on their woes, I’d consider a cold spot on the grid.  The clinical term is a Debbie Downer.


Blinders are good for race horses.  For people left to stew over perceived injustice?  Ooooooooooh, not so great.

Which brings us to the Republic where everything is bigger, Texas.

Would you?

The story this week that’s left me in stitches is the Texas cheerleader Title IX discrimination case, which made it to the U.S. Court of Appeals, 5th Circuit?  Through the appeals process.  Four words from the Dallas Observer blog jump out and sum this case up nicely: petty, meddling and deeply entertaining.  True story.

Samantha Sanches (poor girl) is the cheerleader who put this turd in punch bowl.  But her mother, Liz Laningham, took that turd.  She’s clearly the star of the final appeal.  Take the time to read, as it’s a great piece of high order satire.

Crib notes: Ma’ Dukes seems to complain about anything.  Squeaky wheel, as they say.  It’s all baseless.  When she doesn’t get her way, the family appeals.  To the 5th Circuit?!??   To sum THAT up, total waste of court time and federal money.

Laningham and Sanches twisted high school petty teasing into sexual harassment.  It is not.  The insult to jurisprudence by this case is comically mad.  The court sums it up nicely, saying, “the sort of unpleasant conflict that takes place every day in high schools, and it is not the proper stuff of a federal harassment claim.”

That it got so far shorts out my brain.

Didn't get your way? Ain't your fault!

Emotional trauma from not making the cheer squad is probably not an uncommon occurrence.  Working your way through federal court over it, that is an uncommon occurrence.  I could go on to disparage the poor grammar and spelling of the plaintiff’s paperwork, but that’s piling on.  Check it for yourself, though.  I’ll guarantee at least one laugh to anyone who reads the ruling.

This whole tale is a case of piling on.  I’m easily stunned when this chews up federal cash, when the EPA won’t declare the whitebark pine tree endangered.  Actually, the conclusion was,  “the agency said that it found a listing was “warranted but precluded,” meaning the pine deserved federal protection but the government could not afford it.”  Right.  How much does listing a tree as endangered cost exactly?  Wild guess, $5 million? Proclaiming something is endangered costs loot.

Only in America.

She's a patriot

Counter-intuitive as this may sound, but small town squabbles should not rise to the level of my amusement.  Cryptojournalist rule #7.

The kicker?  If this does anything, it will probably hurt the anti-bullying movement that’s apparently a thing.  Cheerleader Moms’ hyperbolic abuse of every conceivable semantic loophole to gain her comeuppance from the school (for naught!) diverts attention to real problems while diminishing real bullying.  Crying wolf has that effect.

Which leads us to CM Punk.  Trying to stay in the vein of blind devotion, I bring you the messianic leader of the Straight Edge Society.  Think messianic leader is overblown?  Here’s one of his past vignettes.

He’s in the news thanks to breaking the fourth wall during a promo gone awry on Monday Night Raw.  Or an angle.  Whatever that is.  Much like cheerleading, pro wrestling is an eminently (North) American pleasure.  (With a tip of the cap to the countless Canadians who’ve left their mark.)  For those who haven’t seen the CM Punk shoot from Raw…

You’ll notice Punk has his mic cut towards the end after referring to the WWE’s anti-bullying campaign.

Nice segue, but it’s not the point.

The (newly minted and newly unemployed) champ landed an interview with GQ after this episode, where he talks about himself and the wrestling business.  Ego and chutzpah are two things he does not lack.  The interview has a bit of ‘inside baseball’ on the wrestling realm, but it’s an interesting read for anyone.  As Punk even points out, aside wrestler deaths, when does this subculture garner any media attention?  True story.

He says something towards the end, which I find illuminating.

“I think everyone’s dream is to do nothing.”

As a do-nothing, it’s not all berries and cake.  It’s nice, even easy, but not redeeming at the end of the day.  If you bear with me, though, I believe it harmonizes with Ms. Laningham’s unreasonable demands.

Both ring of the same credo: belief that all ‘my’ demands be met.  I doubt that is what CM Punk meant when he said that, but the claim everyone wants to do nothing is me-centeric, to say the least.  Punk’s interview has captivated minds similar to how Latrell Sprewell did on the Golden State Warriors.  But in a good way.

Hasn't everyone felt like choking their coach at least once in their life?

Saying “Fuck Off” to the boss is 3rd on the list of American Dreams, after a white picket fence and banging a reality show contestant.  Punk captured that spirit.  I believe that is a very me-centered viewpoint.  I’ll indulge myself so much to call it a Neo-Randian perspective.  For you West Coast book nerds.

Pro wrestling, err, the re-branded sports entertainment, is still a cultural influence.  Also, a fine stage for blind devotion.

Here is probably the most overlooked comic gem of the last decade.  Harvard educated wrestler Chris Nowinski is having a debate with juice monkey Scott Steiner a.k.a. Big Poppa Pump also dubbed Big Bad Booty Daddy.  This is the sort of archival comedy I adore.  Props to WrestleCrap for bringing this to my attention. Archival comedy everyone needs to see.

“The Great Debate” is over Operation Iraqi Freedom.  Right.  Aside from comparing this to Lincoln/Douglas and Nixon/Kennedy (daft in its own right), the fans are prompted to Booooooo the heel (villain, for those out of the biz), who (obviously) argues the anti-war view.  Because people boo heels.  Priceless.  Both agree on freedom of speech, which is nice.

“Terrorism, they started it.  Terrorism started it, not us.  Terrorism drew first blood on 9/11 and you can bet your sweet ass we’re gonna get even, and we’re gonna finish it.”

^^^Actual quote^^^

A nation getting even with an idea.  Simple, right?

Some naysayers out there are probably skeptical of pro wrestling’s cultural influence.  May I present (drumroll……….)

Extreme Couponing

Paul E. Dangerously should get intellectual property rights for the word extreme by now.

Without me, you'd simply be couponing

Royalties, at least.

Another ingredient in the American Gumbo, extreme couponing is the new trend.  Or is it a fad?  I can never tell.  Irregardless, it’s…..interesting.  Or I wouldn’t be talking about the extreme nature of coupons.  Like the blind devotion we see from cheerleader mom and wrestling fans booing sensible foreign policy (not their fault,really), extreme couponing demands blind devotion.  To shopping.  Or consuming.  Or eating crap food.  Guess I’m trying to say there’s plenty of blind devotion involved.

It also provides a rare glimpse into some Real Grade-A American Madness.  Take this 21st Century Norman Rockwell below.

I think you can just bathe in them

Thankfully Mr. Rockwell has passed on.  But 600 lbs. of obesity marveling over dozens of bags of potato chips is a quintessentially American image.  Don’t confuse this as mean spirited.  It’s not.  The above image is sad.  This well meaning couple’s life revolves around food shopping and hording snack foods.  Is that a way to live?

Rhetorically speaking, only if your dream is to do nothing.  Clearly I’m not a shopaholic.  I do not shop till I drop.

But buying 3 dozen Maalox because you have a $5 off coupon still means you’re buying three dozen bottles of Maalox.  Which probably makes sense if all you eat is processed food you buy with coupons.

Trudging through some of the YouTube channels of extreme couponers, there is some definite comedy.  Take this clip below.

Whoops, that’s Coupon: The Movie.  I guess 1996 was the first time coupons were marketed as entertainment.  Ahh, Mr. Show with Bob and David.  If you’ve never seen it, for shame!

“Honey, guess what?”


“I got ya some socks!”

Deadpan at its finest.  And 15 years before its’ time.  Cutting coupons as entertainment.  “Genius,” the marketer squawks.

There really are funny clips on YouTube.  I should qualify my use of the word ‘funny.’

Hobo With A Shotgun, as I have mentioned, is comic platinum.  Not gold.  Platinum.

Bridesmaids, on the other hand, I found dull.  I’ve been actively seeking out female perspective on how exactly that film was a comedy.  I didn’t get it.  The catty, backstabbing antics of Annie and the bridal party lieutenant were just unappealing.  I found it hard to find a character worth rooting for.

And Maya Rudolph pooping in the street in a wedding gown does not pass muster.  Ain’t funny.  A clip from a Maury Povich paternity test was the closest I got to a laugh.  So please, if you’re a woman that can explain the comic elements in that movie, please leave a comment and explain.  I’m totally stumped on this one, since the movie appears to be funny to people.

Hell, I got more laughs from The Hidden Faith of The Founding Fathers.

A three-hour docutorical (that would be a rhetorical documentary, to be taken with 2-4 salt grains) production from a Christian film ministry.  Yup.  A Christian film ministry.  It’s about how the Founding Fathers were [spoiler alert] NOT Christians.  More laughs than Bridesmaids, easy.  Bridesmaids didn’t have any gems like, “The Bible doesn’t promote freedom of thought.”

[Lingering in the air like a hot fart]

The Bible doesn’t promote freedom of thought

[Still lingering]

That’s a quote from the mouth of Christian J. Pinto.  A cryptojournalist’s dream, I sez.  If you want to see for yourself, it’s at the very end of the video, the 2:56:53 point to be precise.  Unreal.  The Bible doesn’t promote freedom of thought.  Priceless.  Thank you, Mr. Pinto, for generating more laughs for a cryptojournalist than a summer comedy blockbuster.

He also employs cherry-picking tactics, with Barack Obama calling himself a Christian.  He contrasts this technique with how David Barton (a Christian minister) apparently misleads Christians into believing the Founding Fathers were Christians. At 2:09:55 of the video, Christian Pinto drops this chuckle bomb:

How would it be if somebody like David Barton came to your church and they put up a picture of Barack Obama, and they showed this quote from Obama and they said, “Wow, this is proof that Obama is a Christian.  And he’s really.  No, he’s not a closet Muslim.  Um no, he’s a Christian.”


That’s right.

You’re not hallucinating.

He played the “Barack Obama closet Muslim” card.  Gangster.  Super gully.  And MUCH funnier than the airplane scene from Bridesmaids.  Not as humorous as touting the Bible doesn’t promote freedom of thought, but good laughs nonetheless.

Pinto inadvertently makes the strongest argument FOR the Illuminati I’ve ever heard.  The video, if you’ve got the patience to sit through, is a train wreck.  Total shit show.  Cynical I may be, but this is very funny.  In a twisted way.  Blind devotion?  Stuffed to the gills.

Phew.  Hell of a qualifier.

I laugh at strange stuff.

Which brings us back to the YouTube exploits of extreme couponers.

A slow building laugh, but the progressive inadvertent comedy of watching this episode of “Coffee with Collin” builds through the clip.  Using a “hot” coupon in the travel section, “So beautiful,” is one thing.  The comic progression of watching her start the clip with a Starbucks coffee, purchasing Wet Ones at WalMart then buying Taco Bell for lunch is too much.

And the comments section.  Well, one dude sums up his opinion like this, “This woman is dead inside.”  And I might agree.  If not dead inside, perhaps gassy and irregular?

You know what?  People watch.  And like the videos.  So I guess there has to be something to the extreme coupon fad.

I’ve decided it’s a fad.  Trends are indicative of future momentum.  Fads fade with time.  Real people aren’t going to dedicate 10-30 hours per week to their shopping alone.  That’s a very shallow life in my opinion.  There is a real payoff for parents if they’re getting diapers for a nickle apiece.  Smart as hell, since babies poop.

Then there’s this.  These twins, dubbed the Double Saving Divas, are unmarried and childless, giving advice to mothers on buying diapers and wipes.  I would give advice to my buddies with kids on parenting, but what the fuck do I know?  Single childless women have more disposable income and free time compared to mothers.

Am I off target here?  Granted, they give good tips.  But, I feel like I’m missing.  Also, a pair of twins (as noted on their Extreme Coupon episode on TLC, in their early 30’s) who dub themselves divas and stockpile diapers?  I bet they’re beating suitors away with a stick.  Only if they got that stick on sale, though.

Sarcasm aside, there appears to be a disconnect here.  How many mothers have the time and loose cash to do this?  Some, but I wager not many.  A lady with no kids giving advice (at the end of the video) on buying size 3 diapers, because your baby tends to grow out of smaller sizes much faster.

Experience counts for nothing, I guess.  And I am not trying to be a typical man, a chauvinist, woman bashing or not P.R. but the way these two operate is very intimidating.  A nutless, beaten down brave man would he be who walks into a diva’s home to the sight of a wall of diapers.  Just my 2 cents, but that sort of crazed, blind devotion (in this instance, to their theoretical babies) is off-putting.

Good luck with that, though.

The cheerleading, wrestling and extreme couponing subcultures, while aesthetically different, are all ingredients in American Gumbo.  It would appear so is blind devotion.  Mental blinders, thinking (more aptly stewing) without perspective, begets nutty stage mothers dragging a school district through the federal court system.  Or bowing in fealty to shopping and consumption that’s never satisfied.  When ‘my’ demands trump everything, and everyone wants to do nothing, let that simmer over medium low heat for 3-4 hours.  Stir occasionally and sprinkle with Neo-Randian perspective for a delicious American Gumbo.

Free Humnaity, you are Compartmentalized Legos

Posted in conspiracy theory with tags , , on October 28, 2010 by The Cryptojournalist

Sorry to break it to you.  But in fact, you’re just a compartmentalized lego.  I am too.  We all are.  Some evil captain lords over us through a technological dictatorship of the mind.  True story.  Just last month, the City of Albany shut down traffic on Lark Street for Larkfest, an outdoor musical event and general reason to drink Genesee tall boys in public.


Tradition carries on

Much to my delight as a cryptojournalist and an undiagnosed mentally ill person, there were compartmentalized legos at Larkfest.  On a side street, a stage was set up.  Strangest thing tho….I didn’t hear any music.  As I walked closer, an amazing scene opened in front of me.  Armed with my trusty 1.3 megapixel cell phone camera, I was delighted to actually catch the mating ritual of compartmentalized legos.


"I love this song!" "What?"

Look closely.  Everyone on the dance floor is wearing headphones.  Very strange, indeed.  And making me believe we all ARE compartmentalized legos.


One day, we'll all be wearing headphones

Is that right now?  The music is so good, it’s preferable to shut out everything but?  Now I know that’s not what’s really going on.  It’s, at best, a latent subtext to the good time.  It just so happens that I stumbled onto this scene after watching perhaps the greatest piece of unintentional comedy this side of Lee.  Of course I can only be talking about Alex Jones’ two-part video titled, Alex Jones On What We Are.  Part one and two can be viewed by following the links.  The videos are also below, but I don’t want you to get lost before we get through this amazing work.

You see, it’s a tall task to actually sit through 28 minutes of just Alex Jones talking.  It takes the attention span of a pious Amish person, or copious amounts of marijuana.  So unless you’ve got copious amounts, or are Amish, brace yourself before taking the plunge and watching these videos.  And if you are Amish, why in the world are you online?

If you have not yet heard of the man, Alex Jones considers himself the leader of the alternative media.  Too bad Bill Cooper is dead (check out the June 28, 2001 edition of Hour of the Time.  Odd).  Jones has a radio show he streams online.  He makes films, posts his shows on YouTube, and on rare occasion, makes videos just for the internet.  If I had to describe Jones, it would be as “Master of the broad, vague statement,” which leads to some of the hysterics of these videos.


As a free human, you have no RESPONSIBILITY to take their vaccines!

It is exactly what makes this video set awesomely insane, and the reason many people will naturally tune out to this vein of conspiracy theory.  Although if you can endure through the whole lecture, kudos.  I’m going to be all over the place with some of his more random comments.  Please, I encourage all of you to try and watch it yourself.  Based on the fact the first video has 115k views, while the second only has 17k, it’s a tall task.  Shame, too, cause AJ goes OFF on the second video.  Cryptojournalistically speaking, it’s quite telling.

Alex Jones viewers on YouTube, unless they’re rubbernecking like myself, are partisan fans.  If there’s an 85% drop-off in views from video one to video two, clearly people are tuning out.  Grand bluster about the globalists and the scientific dictatorship will often do that to web viewers.

Without further ado, let’s pick this carcass clean.  I’ll start off with one of Alex’s most easily manipulated statements:

We have a society that is collapsing, that is crumbling.  Because we build up drug addict sports icons, and, uh, Hollywood people, and all of these, uh, rock stars, who are the worst expression of humanity.

Really, Alex?  Hollywood people are the worst expression of humanity?  Then the recent woes of Charlie Sheen will make this photo that much more, hmmmmmm, ironic?  No.  Hysterical.


Two peas in a pod

Tough to craft a moral argument when undermining photos are online.  And videos.  Charlie and Alex seem to really be chummy.  Check it out.  It’s called having your cake and eating it, too.  But the obvious contradiction presented is only one gripe.  “Drug addict sports icons”?  Really?  Are Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens still talking points?  To be fair, when I think of athletes who are also inclined to drug use, it’s never really the icons.  More like Corey Blount.  Whose last name is pronounced blunt.  Is it any wonder this is the guy they catch with 29 pounds of pot?  Maybe he means the classic collection of miscreants, the Portland Jail Blazers.  I bet he meant Zach Randolph, a pillar of the community.

To his credit, but to the detraction of any sort of legitimate alternative media, Jones is great at these sort of rhetorical tricks.  For one thing, the Marion Jones, Bonds, McGwire, Clemens type of drug abuse was just that, drug abuse.  Addicted to steroids?  Sounds more like an ABC Family movie of the week.  With Dolph Lundgren as the wise high school football coach.


Don't do drugs, kiddies

The real sports icons are not drug addicts.  They’re sex addicts.  A small distinction, yes.  But one which created a cottage industry for the porn biz.


Cumming to a theater near you

Enough nit picking.  We must continue on.  To see what else a man who pals around with Charlie Sheen, yet derides Hollywood types, has to say.  Folks, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  Prepare to veer straight into crazytown.

We are an incredible species, with a destiny to populate the stars, to go beyond the stars!  We can’t even imagine our full potential.  Just like somebody 6,000 years ago, in Mesopotamia or Egypt, couldn’t imagine a cell phone, or a 737.  Couldn’t imagine an MRI, or a firearm.  We take it for granted, like it’s nothing!  We don’t appreciate the good things in life, the simple things in life.

Populate the stars?  Alex, if other stars are like our sun, they’re hot balls of gas.  You know a lot about that, right?  I also love how one of the good, simple things in life are firearms.  Cell phones, jumbo jets, medical technology and firearms.  What a list.  I could make fun of it further, but it belies a point.  These are the things which define us, our greatest achievements in 6,000 years?  Cell phones and guns?  I thought we have a destiny to go beyond the stars.


To infinity.....and beyond!

Take note of the picture above.  That’s the general layout (another reason this weird Orwellian mind fuck is so tough to watch).  Note the microphone strategically placed over his heart.  Personally, I love his attempted recreation of a time past, using the old style microphone to accentuate his aura.  And over his heart?  Really, guys?  The good fight against the globalists just runs through the veins?  If not, why fight it?

Fifties-era iconography seems to be something for which the Jones crew has an affinity.  Earlier in the month, Jones had a 24-hour broadcast, dubbed The Infowars Moneybomb.  Hoping to secure $5ook, he created a snazzy website and did his thing.  Check out the website, with the retro radio antenna.  How…..fifties.

So what’s the deal there?  Is that Golden Era of America the idyllic world?  Or is it a subtle trick, to entice the older audience for his broadcasts to reminisce about their youth?  Or am I being a cryptjournalist, making something out of nothing?  Only God knows.

On What We Really Are has already given us a couple of nuggets of nuttiness.  Time to accelerate to bat shit crazy.

Become conscious of the fact that you individually are only alive one time in this earth suit that our intellect inhabits.

OK.  Earth suit.  That’s what we’re calling bodies these days?  And our bodies are merely domiciles for our intellect?  Is there even a wing nut belief that falls under?  Earth suit.  Yeah that’s right.  You thought you were a person.  Sorry, fringe, you’re just an intellect-inhabited earth suit.  Unless you’ve got no intellect.  Then you’re no more than an earth suit.

Wow.  Moving right along.

You have to make that decision.  You have to access those racial memories that all humans have, your instincts.  You have to understand that the scientific controllers that manipulate this technological dictatorship of the mind are afraid of the human species.

And I think this goes towards proving my point.  This sort of crazy, rambling rhetoric will magnetize some individuals.  But most people, well, they see it as it is: gibberish that almost reaches the point of intentional confusion.  “The scientific controllers that manipulate this technological dictatorship of the mind.”  Try that one out at your next cocktail party.  These broad, vague phrases are probably Jones’ worst trait.  Take the plight of someone who really wants to confront global problems of the world.  God bless ya, son.  Tough task there.

Any impressionable person who buys into this rhetoric will ultimately wind up confused.  Who exactly comprises the scientific controllers?  Do they meet annually, maybe at a resort like Sands?  Don’t even get me started on racial memories.  I’ve got no fucking clue what the man means by that.

One of my favorite quotes personally is:

They have misdirected our prime directive.

I actually painted that on my bedroom ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint.  When I’m laying in bed, wandering off to sleep, it helps me ponder the real meaty questions in life.  Who are ‘they’?  Where has our prime directive been misdirected?  In the butt?  Cause in our earth suits, we’re biological androids.

Whoops, let me get the quote box back in action.  Jones tells his audience they’re considered:

“a dumbed down sheep, a biological android, to be used.”

Man, the hits keep coming.  Am I a biological android or is my intellect wearing an earth suit?  I’m so confused!  Ok, ha ha.  I’ve got to admit, the guy has a silver tongue when it comes to disparaging ways to describe people.  Earth suits, biological androids, dumbed down sheep.  Sheep is disparaging enough, but a dumbed down sheep?  That cuts deep.

But then there are the outright false claims.  Or soothsaying.  Depends how you read it:

Conservatively, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis died during the War of 2003-2011.

Let that sink in.  Or, check out this interactive timeline from Al-Jazeera, which documents every roadside bomb, checkpoint attack and assassination from the beginning of the war until December 31, 2009.  A news organization, which places the total number of deaths (from January 1, 2004 through December 31, 2009) at 23,946.  That means 2003, 2010 and 2011 must be some bloody years.  This number is greatly disputed.  CTV Ottawa has reported just over 112,000 civilian deaths. places the number between 98,585 and 107,594.  Just Foreign Policy makes a claim that Iraqi casualties are 10x the figures reported by the press, giving a number over 1.4 million.  Please note all these figures are current for today, October 28th.  If you’re reading this in the future, these numbers are outdated.  Sorry.

Conservatively, at least based on the four examples given, is under 25,000.  I’m hesitant to even guess.  Alex Jones is not, but he makes a stupid proclamation.  Especially since the U.S. administration has ‘ended’ the war in Iraq, Jones has set himself up as a fool.  In attempting to look like a prophet, when American troops are still engaged in Iraq in 2012 Jones will sound like another quack.  2011, really?  AJ, while you’re in the future, tell me who wins the Super Bowl in February.  Good looks, primo.

My point is, when something is inconclusive or unknown, such as the Iraqi death toll, don’t play a confidence game with your audience.  Pretending to know something is not the same as knowing something.  Someone with dyed red hair is not a ginger.


I envision a world in which there is no hate. A world where everyone is ginger!

Note the similarity?

I’ve saved my favorite savory tidbit of crazy for the end.  Like The Sixth Sense, sans Bruce Willis.

You have become compartmentalized.  We all have.  Of course you know about the pyramidal power structure, where only the very tip-top understands all the secrets, knows how it all fits together.  It’s similar to Legos.  Individually it doesn’t make anything, but together it makes a greater whole.

There it is.  A bit of creative editing on my part, but I’ve got to admit that I love the phrase ‘compartmentalized lego’.  He really analogizes the people in a society to Legos.  This is followed up by a rambling analogy of ships and nations, the new world order and international banking cartels.  Globalist performing parlor tricks.  All quite nutty.  Regrettably, there is a legitimate problem with the structure of banking.  A valid point is obscured by the crap surrounding it, as if a baby swallowed momma’s engagement ring.  It’s a byproduct of Jonesie’s insistence on speaking in the most general vagaries.  He never really gets to explaining who the globalists are, but that’s why I’m here.  Below, for the first time ever, is video footage of the leader of the globalist syndicate, head of the New World Order, grand puba of the Illuminati.

Compartmentalized.  That’s a five syllable word.  Better be really damn important to waste five syllables on a word.  This is not. This is conspiracy porn, a lot of sizzle and no bacon.  It also seems a little too good to be true.  A global corporation, crushing and suppressing mankind.  Like Cadre Cola, from The Running Man.

When we crumble towards apocalypse, I expect a Running Man style collapse, not the highly anticipated Road Warrior collapse.


Always been about the ratings. If it bleeds, it leads

Alex Jones is entertainment.  For the twisted mind.  Too bad he markets himself as something resembling a news outfit.  Be wary of people who claim to know all, yet say very little.  News, this is not.  Entertainment, for sure.  For the extremely stoned and the Amish.  Watch the videos.  Trust me, there’s a whole heap of unintended giggles there for you.  Laugh.  Enjoy yourself.  But don’t forget, you’re a compartmentalized lego.