Archive for Vince McMahon

McMahon/Huntsman 2012

Posted in Cryptojournalism, politics with tags , on January 18, 2012 by The Cryptojournalist

Before I get too far ahead, I need to make a correction from my last blog.  I claimed Russell Simmons was not getting his due within the Occupy movement.  Well…..this is way after the fact, but allow me to tell you about Occupy Central Park.  You missed it?  Of course you did, because it seems to have never taken off.

Coincidentally, I met someone on the working committee for this event.  It was supposed to be a music festival, so I referred her to a couple of musical acts I know, including resolution15.  Things seemed to be moving forward, until Mr. Simmons stepped in.

The occupiers were getting nowhere regarding obtaining the permits for the event.  So Russell steps in, gets the permits, and that’s the last anyone heard of Occupy Central Park.  The guys from resolution15 explained that Simmons nixed all the acts booked till then for his own musicians, which does not embody the spirit of the movement.  Some would call it a co-opting or undermining.  Bad look, Russell.  Now that we’ve got that out of the way, onto more current topics.

Last week Salon ran an article on James O’Keefe and his attempt at voter fraud.  Alex Pareene wrote up this embarrassing farce of an article.  Here’s a direct quote, one of the most absurd statements I’ve seen in a long time:

There is nothing remotely resembling coordinated voter fraud, carried out with the intention of stealing an election, taking place anywhere in the United States.

Mr. Pareene, you foolish schmuck, you must not have been paying attention over the last decade.  This guy, posing as a journalist, is lying.  This dupe must have arrived on this planet in 2005, since he missed, oh, the top down voter fraud suspected in the 2004 Presidential elections.  He’s also never heard of Diebold.  Additional links covering the voter fraud of the 2004 election are here and here.  If you’re a more visual learner, as many are, watch this video of testimony from Clinton Eugene Curtis, speaking to congress about computer voter rigging.

Alex Pareene is either stupid or lying.  Or both.  He seems to believe voter fraud is a bottom up, local problem.  Where are the editors, to nix this sort of deceptive trash in the bud?

Now, onto what I’d really like to discuss: the bland options in the Republican field for president.  Bland is too kind a word.  Shitty would be more appropriate.  The 2012 presidential campaign is shaping up to be one of the worst in recent time.

Normal people don’t really care about politics; they’re too smart to care about a rigged game.  I’ve even heard politics likened to pro wrestling.  Faces and heels, clobbering each other on screen, back slapping and partying backstage…that’s Washington.

Why not give America what it wants: a really good heel.  Not a Willard Romney.  There’s only one man who could pique the interest of the American voter, and his business record is at least as impressive as Mitt’s: Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Vinny Mac.  Mr. McMahon.  Yup, the guy from the World Wrestling Federation (err, from World Wrestling Entertainment).  The man turned a regional wrestling promotion into a publicly traded company worth over $700 million.  That’s at least as impressive as Mitt Romney’s work at Bain Capital.

Your CEO in Chief

But it gets better.  He likes firing people at least as much as Mitt.  Maybe more.  In fact, if you type “You’re Fired” into YouTube, Vinny Mac pops up BEFORE Donald Trump.

See what I mean?  Romney wishes he had that sort of zest.

And unlike Romney, McMahon is rather upfront about his finances.  His $400 million windfall last year from a bump in WWE stock was reported in Forbes.  Mitt has bent backwards to not disclose his finances.

Back in the ’90s, he even led a stable dubbed The Corporation.  The Republican base would drool over this man.  And his running mate?

Well, why do you think Jon Huntsman dropped out of the race?  He’s got presidential hair, but that’s about it.

That's a great coiffe of hair

Well, he’s got attractive daughters too.  Look, it’s just a fact: Jon Huntsman’s daughters are pretty.  This is the sort of stuff a promoter like Vince McMahon can exploit.  Did I say exploit?  I meant utilize, totally meant utilize.

Four of the best reasons anyone would have to support Jon Huntsman

A successful businessman with a penchant for firing people?  The Republican party is trotting out the wrong candidate.  If they really wanted a win in November, they’d go with a ticket of McMahon/Huntsman.  I could already see the McMahon announcement.

Rick Santorum is prattling on about condoms or sodomy or whatever talking point he’s on today, then “THWAK!”  Chairshot!  Standing over Santorum’s writhing body, ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles, the next best candidate for President: Vince McMahon.

No chance, that's what you've got

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